Overcoming the fear, second try.

I am relatively new to blogging, so my first attempt at trying to write about this ended with me having nothing more than a title.  Here is my second, and hopefully better try.

I had a job that I loved, working in a field that I loved and working with people that I admired deeply.  Who could ask for anything more.  About two years ago, during my lunch break I was out in my car listening to public radio, probably Kojo Nmamdi which was my usual lunch time habit.  One statement was made that stuck with me.  It had to do with the possibility of financial success of private schools.  They said that it was very nearly impossible.  Education is costly and private companies lose money.  I remember feeling thankful that the school where I worked was still in business and seemed to be doing well.  At the end of that school year I received my contract to work again the next school year.

When I returned in the fall I discovered that the company which owned our school had changed hands and life began to change rapidly.  Other than to say that this was the beginning of the end of education at that school in the fashion we all knew and the end of employment there for most of the teachers, I won't be talking about that.  I wish them all the success in their new educational outlook.  There are many wonderful elements they are trying to introduce.

This was the beginning of my unemployment and the beginning of my adventure in a new world of uncertainty, self discovery and a new education in the world of faith.  I was transformed from a life that depended on my ability to work to a life where I have had to trust God to supply all my needs.  I was very surprised to discover that most of my needs have been personal and spiritual.  Yes, somehow I have squeaked by financially, and I really can't say how. 

One of the first things I had to learn was how to put the worry elsewhere, on the shoulders of the Almighty where it should have been all along.  I was becoming more and more aware of my vast ability to worry.  Nights became sleepless.  I was trying with all of my effort to hang on to the faith that God was going to see me through this.  I didn't realise how very small my faith was.  I tried to keep a good face on it all.  I tried to keep my public conversation positive.  Notice that I am using the word, "I" a lot here.  That is where I was; still involved with me and my actions; not God and His faithfulness.  I'll stop here for now because I want to blog a bit about my life and some issues that have been very important and instrumental in who I have become and why.